Why I Cried When Robin Williams Died

Robin Williams' death has touched me quite deeply. This post is an attempt to explain a little about that and how bipolar disorder affects a person's thinking.

By Eva Rinaldi (Flickr: Robin Williams) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 ], via Wikimedia Commons

People die every day. It's sad, but if we didn't know the person, it usually doesn't cause us personal sadness.

Still, some deaths of strangers affect us more deeply than others. If it was a child, for instance, or perhaps they died in a way that somehow hits home a little more. 


For me, this is the case with the death of Robin Williams. His death is one of those that hits home for me.


Tonight, I saw the posts about his death on social media. I sat here scrolling through #RobinWilliams on Twitter and found myself crying.


I hopped over to Facebook where his death was also trending and the tears flowed even more. I was flat-out bawling, but why?



Did I grow up watching him in television and movies? Sure. So did everyone else. I am not upset because a celebrity has died. People are people. Death is a somber thing, but I didn't know this man, so why did this death affect me so deeply?

Robin Williams suffered from bipolar disorder. That's why it hit me so hard.



Understanding Bipolar Disorder

Before Scotty's death, I never really understood this disorder. In fact, his death didn't serve to enlighten me either. Sure, I lived with him, fought with him, and loved with him. We created a family. Still, I never truly understood how ill he was.

I never knew his thinking was skewed at times.

I never knew that he had no control over his emotions.
I never knew how intense those emotions were.

I just never knew.


No, I can't tell you why I never learned. I read whatever brief explanations there were in medical and psychiatric texts. I read what little is mentioned on the internet. But I never truly knew anything about the disorder at all.


I understand now.


Raising children means we learn all there is to know about whatever illness they have. At least it means that to meIf my child had diabetes or cancer, my depth of knowledge would not end at a prescription. No, I have to understand the illness. I have to know all the symptoms, what causes them, and how to treat the causes. I have to know


This is especially true when it pertains to my children's minds. Several of my children have this disorder. I want to know why my child says this, or lashes out like that. I have to know so I can understand and offer help. Maybe I can change something to make it better. Perhaps if I do this, she won't suffer that. 


In all of this, I've learned more than I ever thought I would know about bipolar disorder. I have to know because I want to make life better for my children.






The Sadness that Dominates People with Bipolar Disorder

There is a sadness in people with bipolar disorder that the rest of us will never understand. We can sympathize, and even empathize to a small degree, but we will never truly understand the sadness that dwells in their hearts and takes over their spirit every second of their lives.

So many times my child has said to me, "You don't understand! You will never understand! Even when I'm happy, even when I'm having fun, even when I'm laughing, there is a sadness that is in me. It never goes away, Mommy! I am never happy!"

Do you know what that does to a mother's heart? 


It's as if someone has reached into my chest, taken hold of my heart, and is squeezing until the pain is almost unbearable. It hurts because there is little to nothing I can do to save my child. I cannot save her from the sadness or whatever that sadness may bring. 

I am helpless to protect her from her own mind.

I can't know her sadness. And no one besides another mom in my position can know my sadness.



A World with No Happiness

I also know that, during the depressive phase, the person with bipolar disorder cannot recall any happy times. There are no memories of good times available to them. They only recall every negative thing that has ever happened, real or imagined. 

They cannot even see happiness.


They don't see it in their future.

They can't see that they've ever had it in their past.
They remember every slight. Every disappointment. Every harsh word said, real or imagined. 

But what they do not imagine, or see, or foresee, is happiness.


They do not believe they are loved. They do not believe they have ever been loved, or ever will be loved. You can ask them "What about today when..." and they will insist that whatever display of love or affection you're referring to was purely pretense. It was not real.

People are not truly happy.

People do not genuinely love.
There is no happiness in the world. 

It's all a show.


Put yourself there. Imagine being in a world where heart-wrenching sadness is constant; happiness a pipe dream; and people only pretend to love you.


Who would want to live in that world? 


I'm not saying suicide is OK. As a survivor of suicide, I am here to state that it is absolutely not okay. 


I am also here to say I understand, from the viewpoint of hopelessness, how a person can see it as the answer. I can understand it.

The thing is, if they can get through the depressive phase, their thinking will return to normal. They will see happiness again. They will feel the love around them again. They will see hope again.

IF they get through that phase.



Why I Cried When Robin Williams Died

I'll say it again: If they get through that phase.

And this is why I found myself crying at the death of Robin Williams. Not because he meant something to me. Not because I imagine his death will impact my life in any real or permanent way*. No, I cried because he was in that place.

He couldn't see the love that anyone had for him. 
He couldn't imagine a world in which happiness exists. 
He couldn't see that any good had ever befallen, or would befall him in the future. 

He couldn't see it. It didn't exist in his ill mind.

That breaks my heart like almost nothing else can. This was a human who could not see that he was loved and adored and cherished. He was incapable of seeing the love that surrounded him.


To me, there is no sadder thing a human could suffer than to die feeling unloved.


If you suffer from depression of any kind, know there is help available to you. If you are contemplating suicide, please call  National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

Update 2018: His death has impacted my family in a a permanent way. Like Vincent van Gogh, he is now a part of our family.


Want to receive more information on mental illness? Subscribe here.




62 comments

  1. My Mom is bipolar and i have always tried to empathize with her but i just cant every really understand her. Your words have helped me to understand why she acts the way she does. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is very difficult, especially when dealing with the anger, isn't it? At those times, I have to stop and remind myself "this is the illness" and it helps me to deal with it in a calm way. "I know" and "I understand" while hugging the person works wonders to bring them back. High protein meals at set times works wonders to prevent these episodes, by the way.

      Delete
    2. That's very interesting about the high protein meals, I've never heard/read that before. I have one child I am terribly frightened is bipolar because he acts just like me when I am unmedicated. He is also a carb-a-holic. He may starve to death but we might have to hide the bread for a week and see if his mood improves and stabilizes. Thanks for the tidbit. I enjoyed and could identify with your article.

      Delete
  2. My youngest brother committed suicide, and whenever I hear of stories like this, it just takes me back to that place. The place of all the "what if I's..."
    This is a great post.
    Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anonymous8/11/2014

      My brother died this way as well. I have been battling in my mind ever since I heard the news. We are not alone and neither were they. Saying a prayer for all who are hurting.

      Delete
    2. I am so sorry to hear of your losses. Suicide is one of the most difficult things I've ever dealt with. I'm not sure we ever fully recover from it, but time takes us to another place where we can better deal with it.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for this.
    I have was diagnosis at 18 with clinical depression, that looking back I had had most of my childhood. It is a battle everyday and it does not go away. Like your children I can not remember ever feeling truly happy. There are moments of fun, and enjoyment of people, places, and things, but their is never a true joy and happiness with what I am doing. Anyone who has not been there can never truly understand, and I think even those of us that are fighting the fight everyday can not fully understand the demons that another is battling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's true. Just because you have it, doesn't mean you fully comprehend what another is going through, does it? It's still looking in from the outside, no matter what. I hope you find peace and happiness.

      Delete
  4. What a poignant and remarkable description of what he must have felt! Thank you so much for helping me to understand bipolar better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello Penny. Thank you for your kind comment. It's not the easiest thing to understand and I sometimes feel like I want to stand on a mountain shouting out "Please listen! Try to understand this!" If I've helped a few to understand a little more, then I'll count that as progress.

      Delete
  5. Thank you for your thoughts. It is truly sad when someone can't see that they are loved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for dropping by Alyssa. I appreciate your comment.

      Delete
  6. Mental health issues need to be something that are talked about. The veil of shame and secrecy needs to come off. As the mom of kids who struggle, I wish people would be more compassionate, less judgemental, and that more help was available. I'm so sorry for all that you have lost to this already and pray that your kids grow up in a world that embraces who they are.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sharla, I agree. The stigma attached to the various disorders can freeze us in our tracks sometimes, can't they?

      Delete
  7. Thank you for writing this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for coming by to read my post.

      Delete
  8. Thank you for this. I fear my oldest daughter suffers this way. I never ever ever want her to feel like she isn't truly and deeply loved. Her sadness breaks my heart. As does Mr. Robin Williams'.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry. Has your daughter been diagnosed? Or do you just suspect it?

      Delete
  9. You have put words to my feelings today. Thank you! <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi, Kat! Thanks for popping in. Always a pleasure to hear from you.

      Delete
  10. I saw your post come through my Facebook Feed, and I'm so glad that I read your post. Thank you for being willing to share it. Thank you for being willing to be vulnerable. It simply isn't talked about enough.

    I have had to deal with and support mental health issues in the extended family, and it is a difficult road to walk.

    I am also, so very sorry that you have to relate so closely to Vincent Van Gogh.
    My heart goes out to your family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jennifer. I don't know why, but the second I saw Vincent's name in your comment, I teared up. Thank you for stopping in and sharing your kind words with me.

      Delete
  11. Beautifully written, MIchelle! My mother was bipolar, so this hits very close to home for me too. I too was devastated in hearing about this tragedy and for the same reasons as you mention. Thanks for sharing this with the world. People should not suffer in silence. Will definitely be re-posting to hopefully increase awareness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, comment, and my post. I appreciate it.

      Delete
  12. This is the most profound article I think I've ever read on bipolar, and trust me, as the mother of a teen son who was diagnosed at age four, I've read tons of them. My husband and I struggle on a daily basis in dealing with his extreme ups and downs, and this is on medication. When he's upset or in a down phase, nothing in his life has ever been good and everyone hates him and everyone is out to get him. This helped me to understand just a bit more that, as extreme and crazy as it sounds to us, he really and truly believes that when he's stuck in the depressive phase of his disorder. It breaks my heart to see him like that, and Robin Williams' death just hit me so hard because my worst fear is my son taking his life because he can't see any other way out of the pain. I really hope this brings mental illness and the people who struggle with it on a daily basis to the forefront and that people start talking about it. The stigma of mental illness is almost as bad as the mental illness itself.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ilene,

      Thank you for sharing your story. I understand. I truly understand. That's my fear, too. I won't go into all that here, but I know what you are living with every day. That fear is always in the back of your mind, isn't it? I've never found a lot of good information either. It's almost as if no one has bothered to understand this disorder and that baffles me.

      Delete
  13. Anonymous8/12/2014

    When I take my Meds I feel better but, Not a 100% Happy or Loved!! It's easier for me to Not be in a Committed Relationship because I DON'T want to put anyone through the Headache. It's Bad enough my Kids see me sad. Which just Breaks My HEART. I try my Best to hide it as much as possible. I Pretend to be Happy Every Day. When REALLY on the inside I feel Sad & Unloved. I know my kids and family Love me but, it's like I can't feel it. I just know it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry you suffer this way. I just want to hug you. Please contact me if you need to talk.

      Delete
  14. My daughter has bipolar disorder. She managed to ask for help and is relativly stable on melds. Even though I suffer from severe depression it is so difficult to imagine what she goes through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it is. I had a brief period in my life during which I suffered from depression. I was never suicidal, but I couldn't function at all. I understand that. Nothing quite helps us to understand the bipolar depression though, does it? I'm here if you need to contact me.

      Delete
  15. Anonymous8/12/2014

    I suffered depression at an early age and after several attempts I got help - I'll admit the mental health agency I used did nothing to help but throw meds and labels at me. When I met my future husband my counselor told me not to marry. I did. Then he said don't have children. I have three, been pregnant 4 times. What I'm about to say next is not meant to offend at all. Once my oldest was born I knew something was missing, we got back into church as a family and I rededicated my life to Christ - I was living life on my own terms prior to this. I've been married for 13 years - almost 14 and I've not had to be on anymore meds. I still get sad and blue during certain times of the year but nothing like what I experienced as a teen and Sailor. That said I made a gruesome discovery in April of this year, thankfully he survived and is getting help. I've been there and now as a family member who has to wonder how to take care of a loved one it's frightening especially when the system that is supposed to help them, fails time and time again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for sharing your story. This system is fatally flawed. Everyone's looking to offer magic pills, but no real help. I think we can safely conclude there are no magic pills, so how about some help then?

      Delete
  16. Thank you so much for sharing this today, Michelle. I actually had to step off the net for most of today because his death hit me so hard. As someone who has Bipolar I know what it's like to experience that kind of depression, and I know I will still have more bad days ahead of me when I won't know what love and joy really are. I think your children are very lucky to have a mother who understands that about their cycles. You understand that it's not something they can just "snap out of" or "act happy to feel happy". During a low cycle, we really just can't believe we are loveable and on bad days, we no longer know what happiness is or that we ever felt it and couldn't imagine a future where it won't be as bad as right now. I think being so intimate with that dark place, and then learning about the death of a truly brilliant mind and amazing person, someone who lost the battle against Bipolar, churns up the anxiety. If it can take RW, a person who made a life bringing joy and happiness to others, will there one day be a day when it gets me too? As a mother I know you're probably feeling a lot of anxiety about your children today, please know, it's supportive family that make the world of difference. The fact that you are in their lives, loving them, understanding them, gives them an incredible strength. Your light shines on them, even in the darkness. Thank you for being amazing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rebecca, Your comment brought me to tears. I appreciate your thoughts and feelings on this. Thank you so much for sharing that. Yes, it's hard to be in my spot - the mother of children with this illness - and it's so hard to be in your spot, too. We suffer from the same illness, but different perspectives.

      Thank you for the encouraging words. That is my greatest fear. Oh, I don't know what I would do if that happened. I hope you're right. I hope that the love and closeness our family shares will help keep them all going through this life.

      Delete
  17. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Michelle, a friend shared this on Facebook, and I really understand what you wrote. As a survivor of suicide - my dad took his own life 28 years ago when I was 17 - and as someone who has Bipolar II Disorder, your words are among the most accurate and relatable I've ever read. I don't like platitudes like "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" because I know that the problem never goes away for someone with major depression. I understand why my father just couldn't continue the facade anymore, and I have great sympathy for Robin Williams and the family he left behind. I spent 41 years being unhappy in the way you described - despite all evidence to the contrary, I did not know what true happiness was. Happiness was a fleeing moment of warmth and positive feelings, not a prolonged emotional state. It wasn't until I started treatment for my Bipolar Disorder 4 almost 4 years ago that I understood what "normal" people felt, that someone could be happy despite the ups and downs of life. Thank you for sharing your perspective. Maybe one positive thing that comes out of this tragedy is that more people will begin to discuss mental illness and get help.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I hope you're right, dooverdecade. I hope awareness spreads, whether because of this post or something else. The world needs to be more enlightened and it seems we haven't come very far with regards to mental illness.

      Delete
  18. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Such a great post. I too cried when I heard the news of Robin's passing. I wasn't sure why I was crying and why his death hit me so hard. But after reading your post, you hit the nail on the head. It pained me to think of how much sadness and hopelessness he must have been feeling when he was loved by so many. And the fact that he could not see the hop of tomorrow and the love of his friends, family and fans is really the tragedy in his passing. He will be so missed. My mother suffered from depression most of her life but did her best to put on a happy and brave face for us kids. Looking back I can now start to see and understand how much she suffered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for reading and commenting. I hope my post is helping many to understand depression.

      Delete
  19. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Michelle, I am so grateful for your words here. As an eighth grade public school teacher of students with mild to moderate disabilities, I often encounter students whose difficult behavior is linked to mental health issues. I take your words to heart and hope and pray for the strength and clarity of thought to always seek a way I can understand and help each student I am fortunate to work with each day. Thank you for sharing your poignant perspective. -- Marian

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm happy you've found it helpful. Please feel free to contact me if you have questions.

      Delete
  20. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Great article. How do they get through the depressive phase? God bless you and your family!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really just a part of their mood cycles. How long it lasts is very individual. My older kids go through monthly cycles. Their irritable or manic moods last about a week. So can the depressive state. My youngest cycles daily. I've seen her run the gamut of human emotions in an hour, but most of the time over the course of the day. The depressive state usually happens at night for a few hours and then she's 'back.'

      Delete
  21. Hi Michelle, Just stopping by to leave a comment (since I read your blog in a reader). My brother in law and I had an interesting conversation about Robin Williams, mental illness, and suicide last night. He has been diagnosed as an adult with bipolarism and he has struggled with suicidal thoughts and several attempts himself. He told me something last night that rings true with your thoughts. He said that if people knew who he really was they wouldn't have anything to do with him. He feels so fake trying to function as a "normal" person with so many "crazy" thoughts in his head. He calls himself a "psychopath". It made me sad. He had to be institutionalized before he ever got a grip on his illness and I am so thankful that he has found medication and routines that work for him. I look forward to his healing in the future. I will keep you in my prayers (as always).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I assure you he is NOT a psychopath. A psychopath has no conscience, no true emotions for other people, and view people as objects to be used for their own purposes. If he was a psychopath, he wouldn't be evaluating who he "really was" inside. His words about no one truly knowing him are so familiar to me. I hear this all the time. I heard it from Scotty and I hear it from my Little Bear. I've heard it from my son.

      They are not psychopaths. They are people who are hurting deep inside, who feel unlovable and deserve more love than we can possibly give to them.

      Delete
  22. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Hi,
    I came on this page looking for "why do I cry for Robin Williams".
    I too cried when I heard the news.
    I didn't know why, I don't know why.
    Maybe because I felt somehow he's alone there. I don't know, maybe the sad roles were played much better than the comic ones, I don't know.
    I cried because I am just a regular guy from a remote country (Romania) - and I couldn't speak with him to tell him how much I love him. I believe I was able to see him through the roles, I just don't know. But right now, writing this text, I'm crying. He was not alone. I am sure a lot of ordinary people were ready to support him without asking for any joke.
    (I almost didn't laugh at his jokes - because I felt something was not right. I appreciate him for all the other roles - in some almost I felt he was playing himself).

    Good bye, Robin, I hope you can see us from above. I miss you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a beautiful, heartfelt comment. Thank you so much for posting this.

      Delete
  23. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Thank you for saying it the way it really is. I have felt this way my entire life, but was only diagnosed two months ago with 2...."it's a sign of weakness to get help" runs in my family, etc. Anyway, Robin Williams was my favorite actor, and I love him and will miss him. I am sending your article to my boyfriend as I have never been able to put into words my thought process...and I do want him to understand as he plans to always be here for me....I don't "understand" why he would want to stay, and I DO know that is part of the illness. This is all coming out badly, LOL, but I wanted to say thank you so much for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand what you're saying and you're welcome. I am glad I could articulate it. I have so much more to say, but that's another post.

      Delete
  24. Anonymous8/12/2014

    Thank you for this blog. Robin Williams was 2 years old than I am, and I feel devastated, like you, distraught that dear, beloved Robin Williams was in such tremendous pain. I am considered "high functioning" as a depressive, but that mostly means I have learned very well how to mask it and hide it. I was an advocate for children's mental health, and for adults' mental health for eight years, but I had to quit, just too burned out; the meetings etc just drained me far too much and I didn't know if we were having any impact. The VIPs on the last board I served on gave me a plaque, but I gave it to my daughter because I didn't think I had accomplished much. It just embarrassed me. I am so very tired of folks who say I should just pull myself up by my bootstraps, cheer up, look on the bright side, count my blessings... as if I haven't been trying to do just that all these years. I feel as though I am serving a life sentence; I am waiting for it to end although I will not (as far as I can foresee) actively act on that. I am very stubborn and I refuse to do that -- but who knows the future? Yes, I am currently in therapy with a wonderful counselor, etc, and I have a beloved daughter who understands. She knows there is no way of gauging how much pain one individual can handle. I am so very grateful for all the joyful, glorious, and thought-provoking performances Robin gifted us with. But my heart goes out to Robin, for the struggle is so very difficult, even with children, grandchildren, and a loving family. I apologize for posting anonymously, but I dare not do otherwise. I don't trust the lack of privacy online. Thank you again, for a wonderful, thoughtful, empathetic blog. I am sorry for your pain, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's OK to remain anonymous. I'm often fearful about what I have chosen to post online, but I won't go into that right now. Thank you for telling your story and for all you've tried to do for others. I'm sure you are a blessing to many, whether or not you know that.

      Hang tight and keep strong. Keep pushing forward. I know that's not easy, but you are loved and needed here.

      Delete
  25. Your post is really an eye opener for me.Thank you so much for sharing. For months I have been thinking that what I am experiencing this past years are the signs and symptoms of this disorder and as I go along with your story, I am more than sure that I am really a "bipolar." I can very much relate to this line from your post: "You don't understand! You will never understand! Even when I'm happy, even when I'm having fun, even when I'm laughing, there is a sadness that is in me. It never goes away, Mommy! I am never really happy!" It's like me.. talking. Thanks again, Michelle. God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm glad that this is helping you to find clarification. Not that I'd wish a person to have bipolar disorder, but if one does have it, it is helpful to know. Only then can you determine what path to take towards treatment.

      Delete
  26. Anonymous8/15/2014

    I have never felt like someone understood me more than I did after I read this article. Thanks for making me feel like I'm not alone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are people who understand. You're not alone.

      Delete
  27. Meghan Hinton4/12/2015

    I tried to kill myself the same week this happened. My therapist asked me how his death effected how I felt about my attempt. I told her that I felt like he succeeded and that I failed because I lived through my overdose.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm so sorry you feel you shouldn't be here, but I'm glad you failed in that attempt and I'm sorry Robin succeeded. My heart aches for anyone feeling that way. My heart aches for suicide survivors, too. I know the pain from surviving and I know the pain of fearing daily that my own child will die in this way. It's just a horrible situation all around. For you - the pain of being here. For the rest of us, the pain of losing (or fearing we'll lose) a loved one.

      Delete
  28. This is an excellent article. This is the best, human, explanation of the depression experience of bi-polar disorder that I've ever seen. You are so right on about the constant and seemingly innate sadness. What struck a chord in me was your statement: "The thing is, if they can get through the depressive phase, their thinking will return to 'normal.' They will see happiness again. They will feel the love around them again. They will see hope again." I have Bi-polar II and Complex PTSD from trauma and abuse from the age of 4 months until I was about 18. The hardest part for me in all of this, and that it's not that I can't REMEMBER happiness, or feeling loved, etc.- it's that I have never experienced those things- I can't look back at the time when ____ happened and re-experience that good/safe feeling, because it never happened in the first place. But Robin, hearing of his death, and the method of his death totally bowled me over. I had to have an entire therapy session about it. I wasn't mourning his death because I couldn't believe it- I was mourning his death because I know exactly how sharp that pain can be, and I have been in the exact same place to make that choice many, many times. <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dean,
      I want to thank you SO MUCH for sharing your thoughts on this. This post, in two years, has caused so many to share their experience, thoughts, and feelings with me. It's been life-changing FOR ME. Since this first post, I've written several posts on bipolar disorderand have connected with many people who needed to share their stories.

      I'm sorry to hear your experience has been as it has, but I'm so glad you're here. REALLY glad you are HERE.

      Delete
  29. Anonymous1/17/2016

    Robin Williams was my hero when I had depression because he should me life is worth it even though I never meet him I felt like he was ideal but ifI had one thing to say to him that he was loved all around the world and so are you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for your sweet comment. I'm glad you feel life is worth pushing forward with.

      Delete
  30. Anonymous3/08/2016

    Hi hun I'm going through a super tough time atm and have been for a long time I try to be normal but people don't understand I have a beautiful little boy who is now 10 and his mum tortures me she keeps saying stop feeling sorry for urself or get a grip u pathetic excuse of a man it kills me because she don't even know why I'm like I am she just takes the piss out of me saying nasty things and the silly thing is I'm 7t Dan black belt in kickboxing and kung fu martial arts so I'm no baby and I still feel the pain that I can't sort myself out I'm a very good dad and a very proud man I'm just completely lostatm and can't see a way forward.I just wanted to say how beautiful and inspirational what u put on here thank you for sharing it .I hope u are doing well my thoughts and prayers with u lots of love Darren xxc

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Darren,
      You posted anonymously, so I'm hoping you'll check back and find this reply. I understand that not everyone is understanding. I also know that her attitudes are abusive (I'm a former domestic violence victim advocate). Just because you're a man doesn't mean you can't be the victim of abuse. That's verbal abuse and you do NOT have to live that way. That's only going to make your emotional issues worse.

      Delete

Join the conversation!

Latest Instagrams

© The Heart of Michelle. Design by FCD.